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lawn chairs and popcorn
Remember that Heroes for Hentai remix I did? The one where I re-clothed, removed spooge, removed tentacle-fondling, and re-assigned race to the Heroes for Hire? The ones Joe Quesada said people forgot kicked ass?" That might be because it looked like "lick ass."
The point was to show how something gross and over the top not for any one reason, but all the various reasons together, could be taken differently with a few reasonable changes. That it could be taken as it we were told it was meant.

Now, DC gives us the flip-and-twist: the Flash, who often gets his ass kicked, getting owned by a tentacle monster with added vagina dentata.



Funny, while he's on his back, which is squicky, he's holding on to the tentacles, he looks enraged. He looks like he's fighting.
Just as I'm curious as to how Marvel editorial approved Heroes for Hentai, I'm wondering how and why DC editorial passed this cover. Hilariously, the Doom Cooze doesn't even look attached to the rest of the...whatever that is. It looks like a Doom Cooze floating in front of a rock.
But let's look at it Heroes for Hire pre-remix stylee, shall we? Put poor Flash in an attitude of helplessness, add some slobber, put slobber on Flash, make sure theres some slobber somewhere it's extra squicky.



I didn't even rip the clothes or have Flash bleeding. The only thing missing now is the bog-standard "Yamete..." from eromanga.

The lesson here is: no matter who's being slobbered on by giant genitalia, it looks bad. It's not equal. It's equally wrong.

ETA: I did the illustrations for a middle/high school sex-ed curriculum last year, and I can say with complete confidence that is exactly what a vagina and labia look like. I am completely gobsmacked that DC editorial passed this. I eagerly await the first joke about how they got it right considering they've never seen a real woman.
Maybe it's that they think the parts between a girl's legs look like a yoyo in spandex.

(Image found via The "TUF" Beat)

Comments

[info]kadymae wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:00 am (UTC)
Can I ask for the complete send-up where the Flash looks like he's having a fantastic time -- implying he's got some tenticles stuck where the sun don't shine? ;)

(I mean, how do we know his pants aren't down?)
[info]kadymae wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:05 am (UTC)
BTW, the slasher in me giggled away at the original, because the Flash so does not want the vagina.
[info]prodigal wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
BTW, the slasher in me giggled away at the original, because the Flash so does not want the vagina.
Because it means no weenie, for the rest of his days.

You and Lea are both so full of win.
[info]kadymae wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:33 am (UTC)
Vagina: Those aren't teeth. They're french ticklers -- I'm ribbed for your pleasure.

Flash: Noooooooooo! Not a Vagina! Please No!
[info]amboy00 wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:50 am (UTC)
Maybe he's fighting a Klingon vagina?
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC)
Klingon vaginas engage in blood sports, unlike huma--no, wait, I guess they're the same.

So sorry to anyone whose dinner I ruined.
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC)
You mean Wrong, and you are Right. ^_-
[info]prodigal wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:52 am (UTC)
Sometimes they're the same thing.
[info]dreamling wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
great... that songs going to be stuck in my head all day tomorrow.

/files under, songs not to be sung in public...
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:01 am (UTC)
It's hard to see, but his legs are to his right side. Closed.
[info]kadymae wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 01:06 pm (UTC)
Details, details.

Well .... fix it!
[info]leborcham wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:13 am (UTC)
Damn that second cover is HAWT!
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:02 am (UTC)
You're funny like that The Beat person!
[info]machineplay wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:45 am (UTC)
...i have no words. seriously. the wrong is so thick. on so many levels.

but this does reframe other wrongness about the other piece for me, in that where does it place the naive male observer in relationship to those women? i'm ashamed to admit that i'd not really even taken in the impact of how it informed young male readers about the male role and the relationship to women. looking at this and the vilification (the traditional vilification) of the 'female' role in this set made me realize that.
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC)
I think I understood that.
Is what you're saying, "This made me understand why the other cover bothered people."?
[info]machineplay wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:05 am (UTC)
no, i was completely perturbed by the other cover and i understood why everyone else was. what i'd missed was that the chains and the slimy tentacles and the implied rape carried the potential message of 'this is YOU' to male viewers, and it was only on seeing the yawning vagina and getting the 'this is YOU' misogynist vibe from it that i realize that i had missed the previous message -- and i should not have.
[info]lady_sharay wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
So..Lea, are/were you a reader of Queen of Wands by Aeire? She used the phrase "Vagina Dentata" in one of her strips several years ago.


http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040121.html

Great remix too ^^
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
See, I was going to have arcana_j write a filk for "Vagina Dentata" to "Hakuna Matata." But, as she just said, "I don't have to do it now."

That was hilarious!
[info]prodigal wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 09:34 am (UTC)
"It's a Barry-free girl cavity..."
[info]paradisacorbasi wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC)
The phrase "doom cooch" is going to stay with me for a long, long time.

*incoherent laughter*

[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:15 am (UTC)
It really does the job.
This things must provoke laughter, and I'm happy to be the Clopin.
[info]dreamling wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC)
doom cooch sounds like something you can lose loose change in.
[info]paradisacorbasi wrote:
Jun. 21st, 2007 01:28 am (UTC)
More than just loose change.
[info]tinpan wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
Wow, I see what you mean now. I didn't really understand what was going on with that HfH thing beyond the standard obvious tentacular porn-ness, but this rremix clarifies things alot. It's not the tentacles, it's how you use them!
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
EXACTLY.

It's not any ONE fo the things on the H4H cover, it the conjunction of them.
[info]si_fuller wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)
I think it looks more dirty before your changes to tell the truth. Rather than fighting it, I think it looks like he's screaming and helpless, and that the big vagina is plenty wet already.

It's not creepy in the same way as the Heroes for Hire one of course, I think the more realistic style of the art here doesn't allow for the full impact of quiet submission.

And I'm sure this was painted with full knowledge of the Heroes for Hire debacle, and with absolute intent. How could it be otherwise?
[info]divalea wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
Either is entirely possible, actually.
[info]odditycollector wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:52 am (UTC)
I eagerly await the first joke about how they got it right considering they've never seen a real woman.

I think I found it! ;)
[info]dreamling wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 04:27 am (UTC)
also, ew, and ew. how do these things get approved?
[info]studioqt wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 04:36 am (UTC)
I think it's safe to say that the critter isn't enjoying it since it lacks a clitoris. See, the artist IS making it up. Or maybe...it's someplace else?

I had the exact same thought about this cover and you actually went and remixed it. Thank you for that. Well done!
[info]paradisacorbasi wrote:
Jun. 21st, 2007 01:29 am (UTC)
The question before us, is where's her clitoris? -- Bette Midler
[info]arcana_j wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 04:43 am (UTC)
Marvel+DC Crossover?
Ok, so wait, it's clitoris is actually glowing as if... irradiated.

*choke*

Mary Jane!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[info]kadymae wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 01:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Marvel+DC Crossover?
Icon is for you.
[info]arcana_j wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 01:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Marvel+DC Crossover?
"Icon is for you."

Thenk yew!
[info]pjoseph wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 05:43 am (UTC)
He's Fast, but can he outrun the Doom Cootch?
When I first saw Daniel Acuna's cover for this issue of Flash this morning, I nearly spewed some of that $3 fancy ass organic juice I drink on my iMac at work.

You see, the Flash is my fanboy comfort comic. I buy it pretty much no matter what. And there I was staring at The Fastest Man Alive getting consumed by Vagina Dentata con Chthulu.

So I ask myself, "Am I actually going to actually be walking out of Austin Books with this in 60 days?"

Fuck. Me.

[info]the_kiggy wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 07:00 am (UTC)
Lea, have I told you that I love you! XD
[info]mrcaxton wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 07:29 am (UTC)
What an awesome cover. I mean, where do they take it from here?
As a side note, if men are supposed to be so afraid of a vagina dentata, why is it they're so fond of BJs? Paging Dr. Freud....
[info]chipzdarsky wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 12:08 pm (UTC)
Honestly, if I were to create a scary alien monster thingy, it would resemble genitalia* (also, perhaps a bumhole). This is the lesson in horror I learned a long time ago from Watchmen. Have any of you looked at that climactic (haha) monster lately? Geniterrifying!

In any case, genitals, while lovely in certain, um, situations, are still by far the best way to pull an "eew, gross" from most people, especially out of context in an extreme closeup. I would post one of my many close-up photos of male and female genitalia to prove the point, but that may be too gross for some folk.

-chip!

(* yes, yes, yes, our genitalia are all beautful flowers and marvels of nature, but my pappy's peener scared the shit out of me as a kid when I saw it and I thought it was the grossest thing ever and I wasn't even raised to be shamed by my body)
[info]msgeek wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
Anuses have already been done.
Sorry to break it to you, but Clark Nova, the typewriter bug from the King of Squick, David Cronenburg's movie "Naked Lunch," had a talking bunghole. In a particularly squicky scene, Clark Nova asked the protagonist to rub bug powder on his mouth/bunghole.

I think that The Flash needs to be enjoying the tentacle poontang more in the remix. It points up the absurdity of the Heroes For Hire cover, and the absurdity of this cover as well.

This is yet another manifestation of the Fanboy tension regarding women.
[info]chipzdarsky wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Anuses have already been done.
Oh, I wasn't saying poopholes haven't been done before. There's clear poophole on the Watchmen alien too. I'm just saying I would add poopholes to my alien, along with vaginas and penises. Also on my list of gross things I would add to monsters to make them gross:

-hemroids
-bum hair
-snot
-poop
-dangling eyeballs
-internal organs on the outside
-tongues
-open sores (specifically on male and female genitalia)
-bad teeth/gingivitis
-tourist t-shirt
-big gut
-moles
-loose skin
-lower back tattoos
-nose/ear hairs
-rib cages
[info]onionhead1 wrote:
Jun. 21st, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
Re: Anuses have already been done.
O...M...F...G...
I was laughing at the cover, the remix, and the comments, but your list made me laugh so hard I cried!!! BWWWWAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
[info]cornekopia wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Hilarious remix!!
[info]jkarabella wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
Holy great vaginas of DOOM!
I love this remix because well, I've never seen one quite like it before and I foresee it scarring the minds of many twits for years to come... before they notice the monster attacking Flash is a giant vagina.

As for getting approved by editors, honestly after seeing what appears on children's television here (Australia) nowdays, I'm not surprised. It's like people have been brainwashed not look at genitals to the extent that don't recognize the shapes, only the location.
[info]tammy212 wrote:
Jun. 20th, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC)
O Wondersome Lea, you are a bad, bad monkey.

I knew Barry was fast, but this . . .
[info]wishlish wrote:
Jun. 21st, 2007 05:49 pm (UTC)
Superhero bukkake! FOR JUSTICE!
[info]lea_hazel wrote:
Jun. 21st, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC)
I think I see how it's supposed to be a face and a mouth, but honestly, my first reaction was, "Holy shit! Sauron lives in a giant Vagina Dentata!"
[info]cornekopia wrote:
Jun. 24th, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
candidate?
Here's another cover that needs improvement. What would it look like if Power Girl actually had a human-shaped spine?

[info]lolotehe wrote:
Jul. 4th, 2007 01:51 am (UTC)
mithranga: Should he not be able to vibrate his way out?
lolotehe: no, it would only tighten, but in a pulsing manner. eventually it would loosen, but not before one final thrashing.
[info]azurelunatic wrote:
Apr. 8th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
Thank you for helping me traumatize my IRC channel! I was just searching for the comic strip, but I found this, and this had so much more added entertainment!

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roaring dragon, spore, monster friday
[info]divalea
Lea Hernandez-DivaLea
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